What are you scared of?
I mean really scared? Spiders? Wasps? Drowning? Confined spaces?
I can cope with all these. But there is one thing that gets me.
I can’t stand them. That’s my phobia. Even the thought of them get’s my heart racing, and thinking about them right now…I can feel my blood pressure rising.
It wasn’t always thus. It came about because of injuries to my bloody knees (which resulted in me getting some steroid injections in to my knees – actually a painful experience made worse by the doctor who was doing it describing exactly and in great detail what he was doing and where the needle was going in my knee. I remember the phrase “punch through the cartilage” with terror).
The phobia has got worse over time since. Sort of become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don’t like injections and blood tests and so forth cos they scare me…and I get scared cos of having to have them…silly I know. But it’s that thing about fears being based on something irrational.
I mean I know they don’t really hurt. I know they are uncomfortable, but they never last long do they and they don’t leave any real lasting pain. Discomfort maybe, but the average jab that you might get for, say, typhoid is over after 20-30 seconds and then you are out of there…
But. I can’t stand them. Any of them. As I AM needle-phobic I tend to put off those routine jabs – and as I am of course in the military we need to make sure that we are fully up to date on our inoculations – for as long as I can. I once ended up being out of date for a couple of them as I ignored the reminders for the boosters, and so ended up having to have a full course of the jabs again – more injections than I would have had to have had if I’d just gone back for the booster.
But that is the logic of the phobic person. Put off what you don’t like today – irrespective of what the implications might be in the future. Just escape. Sod fight or flight…It’s all about the flight!
As I said I once put off some boosters and ended up needing two jabs at once. And that thought scared me so much that the nurse got her nursey mate in to help and give me both simultaneously. Both arms bare, one nurse on each side of me – both with a syringe each (DON’T look at the syringe – DON’T EVER look at the syringe), ready to jab me at the same time.
“Ok” said the first. “On three. We’ll do it on ‘three’”.
The second one nodded. “Just relax” – THE most stupid thing to say to a needle-phobic person when faced with a double inoculation.
“Right,” she said. I took a deep breath.
“One…” I held my breath and closed my eyes.
“OWWWW!” That was me as both nurses jabbed their needle into both my arms at the same time…the buggers.
“You didn’t think we were actually gonna go on three did you?” said the second one, almost giggling…